Wanna Know What Love Is
by Sally White
Summary: <html><head></head>There's only one thing that Ginger and Buford know that they have in common: they're both in love with Baljeet. But now he's getting married to Mishti and they're both forcing themselves to be in the wedding. Can these two broken hearts find comfort-and maybe more-in each other? one-sided Balinger, one-sided Bujeet, Buford x Ginger. Crack ship ahead!</html>
1. Part 1

**This my first attempt as a true mature fanfiction. This is rated M, for alcohol and language and sexual times. This is a very crack pairing, since I'm sure that I'm the only one who ships it. But I do hope that you guys will give it a chance.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Phineas and Ferb, and thank goodness I don't.**

**Wanna Know What Love Is  
>By: Sally White<strong>

**Part 1**

The first time it happened, Ginger was drunk. Very, very drunk.

But so was he.

She hadn't seen him in years, since that fateful day they had all tried to get Phineas and Isabella together. It had all worked out in the end, but looking back on it she could see that their logic there had been very flawed. It had been their last group project before everyone had gone off to college.

Looking back on it, it was also the day she should have realized that she had a reason to worry about her relationship with Baljeet.

She and the Indian boy had been together for a year at that point, since she had admitted her feelings to him the summer before their senior year of high school. He had been shocked, because goodness knew that he had been just oblivious to her as Phineas had been to Isabella. But he had readily accepted her confession and they had become a couple.

That year had probably been the happiest of her life. Baljeet had been a loyal boyfriend, and a dutiful lover. It hadn't taken long for her to seduce him and get him in bed with her. She had known that they were probably moving too fast, but she had been in love and just wanted to be as close to him as possible. It hadn't taken even two months for her to give him her body. He had been hesitant at first, but it hadn't been too hard to convince him. He was a boy, after all.

But it had all started to fall apart when she had gone off to college.

He had already graduated college, which was no surprise with his high IQ and superior intellect. She wasn't stupid, far from it, but she had never quite been able to keep up with him in scholastics. He was smarter than her and it had been one of the things that she had loved about him. But it also fed into her anxiety and self-consciousness.

It hadn't been more than a month into her first semester of college that they had stared to fight. And it wasn't just petty arguments, they had been full out yelling fights over the phone and on Skype. She went to bed crying many nights over things that really should have been worked out easily, but something in her liked the drama.

They hadn't gotten to see each other much, and even when they did they spent most of their time either fucking or fighting. It hadn't been a good relationship and she had known that he was trying to push her away, but she had clung to him like a spider monkey.

He had finally found the courage to break up with her over Thanksgiving break, and it had nearly killed her. She had thrown everything she had into her studies after that, graduating a year early with honors. She had been valedictorian of her graduating class, and Baljeet had been there.

With Mishti.

Ginger had hated the Indian girl since her childhood, having always viewed her as a rival for Baljeet's affections. And her fears had proven to be valid that day. After the ceremony, Baljeet and Mishti had gone up to her to give her their congratulations and she had blown a fuse. She had launched into Baljeet, accusing him of cheating on her with Mishti during their relationship.

She had hurt him. Badly. After that, the Indian boy didn't talk to her again for nearly a year, which had once again nearly killed her. She had texted and called him so many times during that year, and the number of Facebook messages had been so much that he had eventually blocked her. But they had finally come to terms and were friends again, though it still hurt her to see him with Mishti.

But the Japanese girl had come to realize that if she really cared for Baljeet, then she would want to see him happy. And if Mishti made him happy, then she needed to accept that.

That didn't mean she didn't feel like she was waiting in the wings until they broke up.

Which they didn't.

She had been invited to their engagement party face to face, the happy couple all blushes and smiles. It had made her feel sick to her stomach, but she had forced it down and given them a bright smile because of course she would come, of course she would Mishti's maid of honor, of course she was okay with this, why wouldn't she be? She had lied to them so many times that night, but she hadn't wanted to hurt them.

No matter how much the situation was hurting her…

So she went to the party, and she had gotten drunk. Very drunk. Absolutely trashed. She mostly sat at the bar and moaned and groaned to herself. This sucked, really and truly. And she said it out loud to herself.

"This sucks."

"I hear ya."

She had looked up and was surprised to see Buford van Stomm sitting by her at the bar. He had ordered a round of shots for them both, telling her simply, "You look like you could use it."

"You have no idea," she had groaned, her chin in her hands and her elbows on the bar.

"Try me," he had said, and it had sounded like a challenge to her but she saw it as an opportunity to rant.

To Buford.

She had been very drunk.

She had told him everything, about the fighting in college and how she had basically stalked him for a year after she graduated, to how miserable she was now and how much she didn't actually want to be in the stupid wedding but she didn't want to say no and hurt their feelings.

She had been surprised when he just nodded to her stories, downing shots one after another. She had wondered if maybe he was drunk too, since she was so sure that he wouldn't be listening to her any other way.

So you can imagine just how shocked she was when he had just sighed and said, "You ain't the only one, Ginge."

She had blinked and stared at him, trying to comprehend what he had just told her. "Wait, what?"

"You ain't the only one who doesn't wanna be in the wedding," he had mumbled into his beer, glaring at the bar. "But I can't back out since it's Baljeet. It would hurt him too much, and that's not something I can bear to do."

It had hit her then, just how deep she was meant to take his words. Her jaw had dropped, and she could only stare at him for a few moments. "Wha…so you…and Baljeet?"

The broad-shouldered man had just shook his head, chuckling bitterly. "I wish. But no. He doesn't even know." He turned a sharp look on her. "And he ain't gonna find out, right?"

She had quickly nodded, miming zipping her lips. "My lips are sealed. Your secret is safe with me."

He had thanked her then looked around the restaurant. She could tell that this kind of place was too fancy for him, totally not his style. He had finally looked at her and asked, "You wanna get out of here?"

She had nodded, only too eager to leave.

The rest of the night was a blur to her.

She knew that they had gone to another bar after that and got shit-faced. She knew that they had called a cab to take them to his apartment building. She knew that she had gone up to his room with him…and she knew that they had made out…

And she knew that they had had sex.

And it had been some of the best sex she had ever had. You wouldn't think it, but Buford was the most attentive lover she'd ever experienced, more so than Baljeet had been. But that had been years ago, and they had still been kids. But Buford…he was no child. He had long out-grown his baby fat from their youth and in its place was muscle. He wasn't overly beefy, but enough that made her wonder how he was still single. He seemed to know just what to do, where to touch her, how fast and deep and rough she wanted him to be.

It had truly been some of the best sex she'd ever had, and she couldn't say that she regretted it.

If you had told her a year ago that she would agree to sleeping with Buford van Stomm, you would had had Nurse Ginger Hirano laughing in your face.

But here she was, in his bed, waking up after a night full of wonderful, mind-blowing sex and she wasn't even sorry.

Ginger sat up with the sheet clutched to her chest, looking around. She was surprised by how neat it was, but then she scolded herself for having those thoughts. After all, people changed when they grew up. And Buford had clearly changed.

She heard someone clear their throat and her head turned to see said man standing in the doorway. "Mornin'. I made breakfast. Hope you like waffles."

"Yes, yes I do," she told him, just blinking at him. Yep, his body was just as nice to look at in the light as it was in the dark. Maybe more so.

He didn't seem to notice her staring and turned to leave the room. "You can come get some if ya want. I'll call you a cab when you're done so you can go home."

"Oh." She once again blinked at him, shocked at his chivalrous gesture. "Thanks."

He waved and left, closing the door behind him. She got up and gingerly made her way around the room, grabbing her clothes and putting them on. She didn't remember them being thrown so far…they must have been eager last night, she thought with a blush. She found a comb and ran it through her hair before going to join Buford in the kitchen.

He was already at the table eating, another plate set up across from him with a knife and fork. She sat down and got some waffles on her plate, nearly scarfing them down. She supposed she had worked up an appetite from last night. The thought made her face turn red, and she quickly looked away from him.

To her surprised, he just sighed and said, "It's okay. I know how this goes. It never happened, it was mistake, yadda yadda."

"What?" She looked over at him, her eyes filled with confusion as she tilted her her head to the side.

"That's usually how these go with me," he told her nonchalantly, though she could clearly see a hint of bitterness in his eyes. "You ain't my first one night stand, Ginger. You're under no obligation to call me or anything. You can go home and pretend this never happened."

"And why the fuck would I want to do that?" she demanded, surprised by how mad she was getting at him for this. "Last night was incredible, Buford, and I don't regret it."

His head shot up, his eyes wide with shock as he looked at her. "Y-…you don't?"

She shook her head, a tiny smile playing on the edge of her lips. "It was probably the only good thing that came out of that shitty night. You really know how to please a lady."

Buford blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck as he muttered, "'S nothin'. I just wanna make sure the lady feels good."

Ginger nodded and finished eating, standing up and going to the couch. Her purse was there, and she silently thanked her self from last night for not losing it. "But I do gotta go. I have a shift at the hospital this afternoon." She looked over her shoulder and saw that he had stood up and was making his way over to her. He looked so…hesitant, almost shy. She found it endearing and reached up to pat his cheek with her hand.

"Really, thank you for last night. It was great." She leaned up on her tippy-toes—damn, had he grown since she had saw him last?—and pecked his cheek. "I guess I'll see you later, huh? What with all the wedding stuff." She found her shoes and walked out, waving to him as she did.

When she got to the elevator she took a few moments to think and breathe. She had slept with Buford, someone she would never have thought she would ever sleep with. And she didn't regret it. In fact, she had enjoyed it.

She smiled as the elevator reached the first floor and opened, and she stepped out as she headed outside. She called a taxi and gave the driver the address to her apartment building, getting into the back. Just as she was buckling in, she heard her phone vibrate in her purse. She took it out to see that she had a text from Buford.

_[Text]_

_See you later, Ginge. Thanks for the great night. You're not half bad yourself. ;)_

Ginger couldn't stop the blush from rising up on her face, nor the giggle that escaped her. He was a cheeky one, that Buford. She quickly replied back, feeling like a giddy teenager that had just escaped punishment for some wrong deed.

_[Text]_

_How about we do lunch sometime? My treat, for treating me so good. ;)_

Only a few seconds later she got her answer.

_[Text]_

_It's a date. ;)_


	2. Part 2

**I wanted to write another chapter sooner, but I was brain-dead for a bit. But now I'm over it and hopefully the story will come to me more quickly now. I had absolutely nothing planned for this chapter, so I hope it doesn't come off as too sloppy.**

**Also, I fully realized just how emotional this story is going to be, because not only is Ginger going to have to get over Baljeet and bid goodbye to her feelings for him, **_**but Buford is gonna have to do the same thing. They're both going to have to tell the love of their lives goodbye. **_**And wow, that's a lot of feelings and I don't think that my heart will be okay when this story gets more into that point. I'm probably going to die.**

**Also, I forgot to mention in the last chapter, but the group are all in their early twenties, from like 23 to 25.**

**Wanna Know What Love Is  
>By: Sally White<strong>

**Part 2**

The second time it happened, she was just lonely.

It had been two weeks since Ginger's encounter with Buford. They had had lunch together the day after it had happened, and it had been nice. They had just chatted and tried to catch up, since it had been years since they had last seen each other. She learned that he graduated from college just the previous year with a master's in history and physical education. He was working on becoming the next gym/history teacher at their old high school. She had been pretty shocked to hear that. Who knew that Buford's calling would turn out to be teaching?

She had also learned that he had been telling the truth about what he'd said in his bedroom. He had tried dating, but he had just never found the right girl who could help him get over Baljeet. He had sworn her to secrecy over that, and she was more than willing to keep his secret. It wasn't hers to tell, after all. And there wasn't really anyone that she would want to tell, anyways.

He told her that most of his experiences with girls came from girls who would come home with him from bars. They would have sex once then they all would make up excuses to never call him or see him again. She had found herself put off when he had told her this, since it just didn't seem fair to her. Sure, Buford wasn't the best-looking man out there, but he also wasn't ugly. And, as she had found out, he was amazing in bed. So she immediately categorized those girls as bitches in her head.

The conversation had ended there since she'd had a shift at the hospital that afternoon. They had left with friendly words, going off to their own lives once more. She found that she was glad that their experience hadn't ended with any kind of awkwardness, and she was actually proud of herself for not being like those other girls. She was not as shallow as some would believe.

It had been a couple of weeks since then and she had seen him a few times during that time. Mostly when they met up with Baljeet and Mishti for wedding planning, since she and Buford were the maid of honor and best man, respectively. She found that having someone who understood her suffering really helped. They often exchanged pain-filled expressions, neither of them wanting anything to do with this wedding but both also unable to tell Baljeet no. They loved him, were in love with him, and neither of them could stand the thought of letting the Indian man down.

But now it was a weekday, and she had the day off from the hospital, and all she could do was sit in her apartment and mope. She could have gone out and seen people, try to take her mind off the situation. But all she could bare to do was sit there with her head in her hands, thinking about Baljeet and how much she still loved him and how much she didn't want to be in his wedding.

She glanced at the clock on her microwave and noticed that it was now 5pm. She groaned and flopped back on her couch. She had literally spent the whole day pouting. "What a waste," she muttered to herself, putting her arm over her eyes.

Then, an idea occurred to her. She sat up and glanced at the clock again. School would be out by now, so she wouldn't be disturbing him. But…was this really the right thing to do? To just call him because she felt lonely?

She took her phone out and called him before she could back out. It was worth a try, right?

_"Van Stomm."_

"Buford?"

_"Ginger?"_ He sounded surprised to be hearing from her. _"What's up?"_

She bit her lip and clenched her eyes shut before blurting out, "Do you have plans tonight?"

_"No… Why?"_

"Could you…could you come over?"

_"…are you okay?"_

"Yeah, I just…" She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I'm lonely, and I would really like some company. But you don't have to if it's too inconvenient."

_"Nah, it's fine,"_ he reassured her, and she could almost hear the smile that was surely creeping onto his lips. _"Just gimme the address and I'll be over soon."_

She eagerly gave him her address then hung up. She jumped and ran to her bathroom, jumping into her shower to freshen up. It was a record time shower, about ten minutes, and she hurried to get some proper clothes on and ran a brush through her hair. Then she stopped and nearly smacked herself. What the fuck was she doing? It was just Buford! It wasn't like she had a date or something…

…but that didn't mean she had to look like a slob.

Ginger's hair was just starting to get dry when she heard the buzzer go off. She hurried over to let him in then waiting anxiously, her foot tapping. A few minutes later there was a knock on her door and she nearly yanked it open.

Buford stood there, dressed in slacks in a button-up shirt and a nice jacket—and good lord, was he wearing a tie? She gulped silently, mentally scolding herself. She had called him over here for company, not a booty call. "Hey."

"Hey. Nice hair." He stepped into her apartment, taking his shoes off and loosening his tie. He noticed her staring at him and his cheeks turned pink. "I fuckin' hate this thing, but the school wants me to wear it."

"For what it's worth, you look nice," she reassured him, closing the door and heading for her kitchen. "Can I get you anything?"

"Ya got any booze?" he called to her, settling himself on her couch.

She chuckled. She should have known. "Luckily for you, I have some cider." She took out two bottles and went back over to him, sitting down beside him. She handed him one of the bottles and opened hers, taking a sip.

He opened his and took a sip, letting out a satisfied sigh. "This is the good stuff." He slung his arm on the top of the couch, and she noticed how he was careful to not touch her. It made her want to frown, but she quickly pushed that away, too. Company, not a booty call.

"So what have you been up to today?" he asked her, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Anything interestin'?"

She sighed and shook her head, taking a long swig of the drink. "Nope. Honestly…I sat here pouting all day." She groaned and slumped back into the couch, staring at nothing in particular. "I really don't want to do this."

"I know what you mean," he sighed, relaxing back into the couch. "It really sucks to just have to stand there and watch them."

"It doesn't help that she's so fucking nice," Ginger whined, glad that she had called him to come over. She just really wanted someone to be able to bitch to.

"And they're so fucking happy," he agreed, and she saw his grip on his bottle tighten. He took a long swig, as if trying to wash it away.

But she wasn't done talking about it.

"For a smart guy, he really is stupid," she griped, crossing her arms over her chest, making sure to not spill her drink on herself. "I mean, he didn't even know that I had feelings for him until I told him, and I was almost as obvious as Isabella with my feelings! And you," she looked at him, "he never figured that out."

"I wasn't obvious," Buford reminded her before finishing his drink and setting the empty on the coffee table.

"You want another?" Ginger asked him, getting ready to stand up.

He shook his head, his expression grim. "No. I don't wanna get drunk." He glanced over at her. "You should probably make that your last one, too."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm pretty sure we don't want a repeat of last time."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She sat up, her eyes flashing with anger. "I think I've made it abundantly clear that I don't regret what happened between us, Buford. So can you please stop treating it like it was a bad thing?"

"Wasn't it?" he asked her, leaning towards her with a challenge in his eyes.

She could feel her hormones start trying to override her head, and she fought to push them back. Company, not a booty call. "No, it wasn't. We're both consenting adults, Buford. We're not kids anymore."

He studied her face then nodded slowly, pulling away and relaxing back once again. "Fair enough."

She sighed and put a hand on her heart, trying to get her rapid heartbeat under control. He had really gotten her worked up, and he hadn't even touched her. What the hell was going on?

"Why did you really want me to come over?" he asked her, glancing at her from the corners of his eyes.

"I wanted some company," she told him, blinking.

He turned his body a bit to face her, a look of disbelief on his face. "I ain't stupid, Ginger. I know that's not the only reason."

The Japanese woman looked away, staring down at her shoes. Her grip on her bottle of cider tightened, and she feared that it would break. Of course she wasn't actually strong enough to do that, but she wasn't thinking rationally right now. "I do want some company, but…no one else gets it. No one else would understand why I'm hurting so much."

She felt a gentle hand grip her chin and turn her head. She found herself staring into the former bully's blue eyes, which were soft and sympathetic. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Ginge. You can't keep letting this hurt you so much."

She leaned into his touch, eventually falling over to bury her face in his shoulder. "I know, I know. It's been years since we broke up, and we weren't even together for that long. But…it just kills me to see him with Mishti and getting married to her."

Buford wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him. "I know how you feel. I don't show it much, but it kills me too. At least you actually got to be with him and you know what it feels like."

"But that just makes it worse," Ginger moaned, her hands reaching up to clench onto his jacket. "All I can think about is when we were together, how his lips felt against mine and the way he smelled when we made love…" She clenched her eyes shut tight, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "I miss him so much, and I never got over him. I want to tell him that, and I want him to understand just how much this all hurts me, but…"

"You can't stand to hurt him," the man murmured, one hand gently running through her ebony locks. "I know how you feel. For years I wanted to tell him how I felt, to finally admit that I was in love with him, but it was too big of a risk to take. Plus I didn't want the guys on the wrestling team haggling me for lovin' a dude. I would have never gotten any peace."

She felt her heart clench in pain for him, and she huddled closer to him. "I didn't know you had such a hard time…"

"No one did. I didn't want anyone to know or worry, so I buried it all away and forced myself to pretend like everything was okay."

She suddenly had a thought that made her frown deeply. "You must have hated me when I got with him."

To her surprise he started chuckling. "Nah. He was happy, and even though it hurt I was just glad that he was smiling." He lifted her chin to give her a tiny smile. "I've always wanted to thank you for that."

She blinked. "For what?"

"Keeping his smile," he told her, his expression the softest she had ever seen it.

She felt her breath catch in her throat, and all she could do was stare at him. Who knew that Buford van Stomm, the biggest bully Danville had ever seen in their childhood days, would have such a soft spot. Who knew that, deep down, he was actually pretty sentimental, not to mention sweet and selfless…

She couldn't take it anymore, and she reached up to cup his jaw in her hand. "That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." Then she leaned up to gently press her lips to his.

This kiss was much different than the heated make-out they had shared in his apartment two weeks ago. This kiss was much more tender, and full of thanks and comfort. Both of them were suffering from the same painful endeavor, and they both needed comfort.

Buford's huge hands came up to gently cup Ginger's face, his fingers hooking onto her hair to hold her in place. Her own hands venture to grasp his jacket lapels, pulling him closer to her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his manly scent, felt his calloused hands on her soft skin. He was being so gentle at that moment, but it wasn't a romantic kiss. It was just something that both of them needed.

She pulled back and stood up, reaching down to him. He seemed to understand, since he just stood up and took her hand without a word. They made their way to her bedroom, and once they were there he pinned her to the wall.

Clothes came off in a hurry, kisses became hot and heavy, bodies pressed up against each other as bare skin touched. He made rough love to her right there against the wall, and it resulted in one of the best orgasms she'd ever had. They made their way over to her bed, where she pushed him down and rode him as they had sex a second time. When they were finally sated, they flopped down on the bed together and just held each other, wanting to feel the comfort of a warm body beside them.

As she started to doze off, Ginger found that she was glad she had called him and invited him over. Buford curled around her right before he fall asleep, and she soon joined him in dreamland.

They both dreamed of Baljeet.


	3. Part 3

**Okay, so I totally meant to write this chapter earlier, but I realized that I had no idea as to how to start the god damn thing. Like, I knew what I wanted to happen in this chapter, I just didn't know how to lead up to it. So I may have gotten a little *cough*a lot*cough* inebriated first before finally finding the right words.**

**Also, in case you all were interested, I have started listening to Fall Out Boy's album Save Rock n Roll to get inspiration for these two. Like, the whole album from Alone Together to the end fits them in all kinds of ways. Like I can't listen to any songs from that point on without wanting to curl up into a ball of feels. **

**Anywho, here's the next chapter!**

**Wanna Know What Love Is  
>By: Sally White<strong>

**Part 3**

The third and fourth times happened when they got drunk. Again.

The fifth and sixth times happened because both of them were lonely. Again.

After the seventh time, Ginger realized that she no longer had any more excuses for sleeping with Buford.

And that scared her. A lot.

When they would go places with Baljeet and Mishti to discuss things for the wedding, she felt like there was a huge sign above her head declaring that she was sleeping with the former bully. He didn't any different towards her than he had before. He was as blunt as he always was, but he was just a bit more sweet to her than he was to other people. It didn't necessarily make her uncomfortable, but it was also something that she felt like was way too obvious. It really wasn't, not really, but she was one to worry about little things.

To be completely honest, she was worried about Baljeet finding out. Even though he was getting married, she found herself wanting him to still think that she was available. She was still in love with him, and on the very slight chance that he and Mishti broke up before the wedding she wanted to be there to be his shoulder to cry on—and possibly be his rebound that would hopefully turn to romance.

It was a petty thing to wish for and she knew it, but she wanted it more than anything even after seeing how happy he and the Indian woman were…

…even after learning of Buford's own deep feelings for the Indian man…

She wanted Baljeet, wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone or anything else in her life, and she was willing to wait for him forever…

No matter how miserable it would make her…

* * *

><p>A couple of days after her last encounter with Buford, Ginger found herself at a cute little cafe with Mishti and Isabella. The Indian girl had asked the Mexican-Jewish girl to be in the wedding as well, and the Japanese girl found herself grateful to have another friend in the wedding with her.<p>

They all sat in the cafe, drinking coffee and just chatting, about the wedding and about their lives. Ginger kept checking her phone to see if she got any texts from Buford or Baljeet, and she was disappointed each time to see that there was nothing.

"I'm really happy for you and Baljeet, Mishti," Isabella told the woman happily, a cheerful smile on her face. "It's nice to see that another couple from our childhood worked out."

Ginger wanted to glare at her friend when she said that, but she knew that Isabella's statement was innocent and not meant to hurt her. After all, she had never disclosed her true feelings to anyone other than Buford.

"Thank you," Mishti thanked the blue-eyed girl, tucking some hair behind her ear. "I didn't think that Baljeet and I would ever work out, but I guess life has a way of surprising you like that, yes?"

Isabella nodded, giggling as she took a sip of her coffee. "I guess so. I mean, I never thought that I would actually end up with Phineas but look at us now!"

Ginger let out a silent sigh and checked her phone. This time she was surprised to see that she had a text. She eagerly opened it, smiling a tiny smile when she saw that it was from Buford. He wanted to know if she was still up for hanging out later tonight. She went to text him back when she noticed that the other two women were staring at her. She blushed and hurried to put her phone away. "I'm sorry, did you guys say something?"

"We asked how you were doing," Mishti said kindly, giving the Japanese woman a smile.

Isabella reached over to put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Ginger, are you alright? You've been pretty distracted lately?"

Ginger felt the color start to drain from her face. Shit. Had they figured out her real feelings about all of this? "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Well…I do not think it is my place to say," Mishti said sheepishly, looking away.

"There's been talking going around town," Isabella started, looking the other woman in the eyes.

The Japanese woman felt her heartbeat pick up, and she gulped silently. "What kind of talk?"

"About…well, about you and Buford," the Mexican-Jewish woman confessed, seeming embarrassed to be bringing it up like this.

Ginger nearly fainted when Isabella said that. Oh thank god, no one knew about her feelings for Baljeet. But this was something new for her to think about. She tilted her head at the two woman, a curious look on her face. "What kind of talk has been going around?"

"People have said that they have seen him coming from your apartment late at night," Mishti admitted, her cheeks turning pink.

"And that you've been coming out his place early in the morning," Isabella continued, a concerned look on her face. "Neither of us wanted to assume anything, but we're worried about you, Ginger."

The Japanese woman felt indignation rise up in her chest, and her eyes narrowed at her friend. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Both of the other women flinched, not having expected her sharp tone of voice. "Well…" the Indian girl started, but quickly stopped and bit her lip.

"It sounds like you've been sleeping with him," Isabella told her friend.

"And what if I have?" Ginger found herself putting her nose up in the air, staring at them with a challenge in her eyes. "We're both consenting adults, we can do whatever we want."

"But is it really the best thing for you?" Isabella asked softly, reaching over to put her hand over Ginger's. Her blue eyes were filled with concern, without any condensation. "We all know what happened between you and Baljeet, and how hard this must be for you."

The blood drained from her face, and Ginger's hand clenched into fists. She abruptly got up, grabbing her purse with shaking hands. "I need to go."

"Ginger." Mishti got up and hurried over to the Japanese girl, her eyes soft. "I'm not angry, and neither is Baljeet. You are a good friend to both of us, and that's why we wanted you to be in the wedding."

Ginger jerked away from the woman, her brown eyes narrowed in a glare. "Don't touch me. I don't even want to see you right now." She turned and stomped out of the cafe, fighting back the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

* * *

><p>Ginger went home and just sat on her couch for a few hours, her mind whirling. She couldn't believe this. They knew! They knew how she felt and yet they had still asked her to be in their wedding. They had known how much it would hurt her and they still had the gall to ask her to do this. How dare they…<p>

"Why, Baljeet?" she sobbed, finally allowing herself to cry. "Why would you do this to me?…"

She heard a knock on her door and looked up, blinking. She slowly got up, wiping her tears. She wondered who it was, since no one was able to get into the building without being buzzed in and she certainly hadn't buzzed anyone in. She wondered for a moment if it was Buford, who was probably acquainted with her neighbors. But she quickly dismissed that thought, since he would have called first.

She ran her fingers through her hair before opening the door. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw who was standing there.

"Baljeet…"

The Indian man waved awkwardly at her. "Namaste, Ginger. Ah…may I come in?"

She just opened the door wider for him, gesturing for him to come in. She knew that she should have been angry, yelling at him to leave her alone and never talk to her again. But…she couldn't. Her heart wouldn't allow her to that to him, no matter how angry she was. She could never turn him away…no matter how much her brain wanted her to do that…

He stepped in, not bothering to take his shoes off. She couldn't help but think of how Buford always made sure to take his shoes off before he came into her home. She didn't bother to asked Baljeet about it, figuring that he wouldn't be here long.

The Indian turned around to look at her, his hands clasped in front of himself. "Ah…is there somewhere we can sit to talk?"

She nodded and walked to her kitchen, figuring that this conversation would be better held at her table. Besides, she and Buford had had sex on her couch a few nights ago and she didn't want Baljeet to have to sit on that. She sat down at her table and waited for him to join her.

He sat down across from her, linking his fingers on the table in front of himself. He looked up at her, obviously unsure as to how to approach whatever he wanted to say. He tried to speak a few times but stopped, then finally seemed to find his voice. "Mishti called me. She wanted me to try to talk to you."

"Did she now?" Ginger asked, unable to keep the bitter tone out of her voice.

"Yes," he went on, oblivious to her negative feelings. "She told me about what happened and she is quite distressed about it."

"Poor her," the Japanese woman snapped, then instantly regretted it when she saw the hurt look on his face.

"Please, just hear me out," he begged her, looking up into her eyes. "I know that you and I have had our problems in the past, but I thought that we had worked it out. That is why I wanted you to be in the wedding, because I still consider you to be one of my best friends and I want you to be a part of this happy time."

"But…you know how I feel," she protested weakly, looking away from him as she fought down tears. She refused to break down in front of him.

She felt one his hands cover hers and she looked back up at him. His eyes were sympathetic, almost pitying. "I do. I have always known."

"Y-you have?" she asked, feeling the color leave her face yet again.

He nodded, his expression becoming filled with pain. "Yes. I know that you have always been secretly angry with me for not breaking up with you earlier. I let it drag out for too long, causing you more pain than necessary, and for that I will always be sorry."

Ginger just stared at him, not able to fully grasp what he was saying. So…he didn't know that she was still in love with him? He didn't know how much she hated Mishti for getting to be the one to marry him? He thought that she was still angry with him for something as small as that?

…she wasn't about to tell him the truth.

"It was ridiculous, how long you waited," she said, looking away and tucking some hair behind her ear. She made a mental note to thank Mishti later for not telling Baljeet the truth. She could only imagine how hard it had been for the Indian woman to lie to her fiancee.

"I know, and I truly am sorry," he assured her. "But I do not want that to affect our friendship." He gave her hand a squeeze, giving her a small smile. "I would still love to have you in the wedding, Ginger."

The Japanese woman forced herself to look at him, fighting to keep from staring at him. She gave his hand a squeeze back before pulling hers away from him. "I never had any intention of backing out."

"Good," he sighed with relief, his whole frame visibly relaxing. "Oh!" He looked up at her, seeming embarrassed. "Mishti also wanted me to pass along her apology for pushing you about Buford."

"What do you mean?" she asked him, confused.

"She told him that she asked you if you were sleeping with him," he told her, speaking slowly with a careful tone. "I told her not to assume anything, but she had been very curious and…well…" He glanced up at her, seeming afraid of her reaction. "You and he have been acting differently lately. Both of us have noticed, but we did not want to ask for fear of messing with something that is none of our business."

Her head began to whirl again, and she gripped the sides of her chair as she tried to get a hold of herself. "And just what did you fear you would be…messing with?"

"I know that you are sleeping with him. And that is fine!" He hurriedly waved his hands at her. "Who you sleep with is your business. In fact, I am happy for you both. It is nice to see two of my friends happy with each other, even if I totally did not see it coming."

"We aren't together!" she exclaimed, slamming her hands down on the table. "Yeah, we're sleeping together, but we aren't together!"

"Oh." He looked away, his cheeks red, sheepish. "I am sorry…I should not have said anything." He stood up, shuffling his feet. "I, ah..I should go now."

"Wait!" She stood up and went over to him, grabbing his arm. She looked into his eyes, searching for…something. Anything. He thought that she and Buford were together. Was he jealous? Feeling regretful? Did he feel anything about it? About her? She couldn't tell…

The Indian man smiled at her, pulling out of her grip before patting her shoulder. "I should go. Do not forget about our appointment with the caterer next week." He gave her a brief hug before leaving, closing the apartment door behind him.

"But…" She was left to gap at where he had stood, one hand up where she had been gripping onto him.

"…what the hell?"

* * *

><p>She ended up calling Buford and having him coming over after Baljeet had left, her frustration building up until all she desired was some company. They ended up having sex, of course, just like they always did. They didn't even making it to her room this time, just deciding to do it against the wall in the hall. They finally ended up in her room, where they ended up having sex sitting up on the bed. Afterwards, he pulled out of her and flopped back on the bed, pulling his boxers back on with a grunt.<p>

She just stayed sitting on the bed, her face scrunched up as she thought about what the girls and Baljeet had said. Was it really so obvious that she and Buford were sleeping together? It wasn't like they announced it anyone, since they were both private people who kept their sex lives to themselves. But…they had never really discussed just what this was. Maybe this would be a good time to do that…

"Hey." She started when she felt a hand on her bare shoulder, and she turned to see Buford sitting there behind her, his eyes full of concern. "Ya okay?" He slid and arm around her and pulled her to him, settling her in his lap. "You seem kind of distracted." His hands were on her shoulders, massing them softly.

She moaned and leaned back into his touch, her eyes fluttering close. "I'm fine," she managed to get out, nearly melting under his touch. God, he was good at making her mind go blank. "I was just thinking about something."

"No shit." He chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to the back of her neck, making her shudder. "What were you thinking about?"

She opened her eyes and turned around, just staring at him. He stared back, blinking at her. She reached up to cup his face in her hands, looking into his eyes. She looked for something…anything. But there was nothing new there. He was just same ol' Buford, driven by lust and determination like he always was.

"Ginge?" His voice brought her out of her reverie and she blinked, focusing on him again. His expression was full of concern now. "You sure you're okay? I lost you there for a bit."

She nodded, letting go of him and scooting away a bit. She laid back down on her bed, bringing the sheets up to cover herself. He laid down beside her, not bothering to try to touch her again. She knew that he sense that she needed some space, and she appreciated that.

"Buford…" She took in a deep breath, gathering her courage. "What are we?"

"We're friends," he told her simply, staring up at her ceiling.

"That's not what I mean." She turned her head to look at him, trying to get a grip on the situation. "What I mean is…what is this?" She gestured between them. "We've been doing this for nearly a month now. Yeah, we're friends, but just friends don't sleep with each other six times in a month."

He turned his head to look at her, his eyebrow raised in amusement. "You've been keeping count?"

"Shut up." She gave him a shove, her cheeks turning pink. "Just answer the question."

"Does it really matter?" He linked his hands behind his head, looking back up at the ceiling. "We're good friends who just so happen to like sleeping with each other. Last time I checked, that's not a crime." He glanced at her and wrapped an arm around her, bringing her to rest on his chest. "I like hangin' out with you, and I sure like havin' sex with you. Does it matter if it has a label or not?"

"I guess not," she murmured, resting her head on his broad chest as one of her hands rested on his toned stomach. "It's just…Isabella and Mishti were asking me about it this morning and I didn't know what to tell them."

He linked the fingers of his free hand with hers, and she gave his hand a grateful squeeze. He normally didn't like hand holding, but he knew how much it helped to calm her. "If they ask again, tell 'em we're fuck buddies."

She laughed at the crude way he put it, and she nuzzled her head against his chest. "You sure you don't mind putting a label on it?" she asked him jokingly, her tone teasing.

"Not if it's that one." He let go of her hand and lifted her chin to look into her eyes, his own blue orbs soft. "Like I said, I like havin' sex with you, and I'm not afraid to admit that. People can think whatever they want about it, we know that it's not just out of lust."

She nodded, understanding him. They needed each other in this trying time, since they were both having to help plan the wedding of the man they loved. The sex was nice, but it was really the company that they both gave each other that was the real company. She had been sleeping so much better since she had started falling asleep beside him. He made her feel safe…

"You're right," she agreed with him, leaning up to peck his lips. "We're both consenting adults and we can do whatever we want."

He smiled and nodded, wrapping both arms around her as he rolled them over so that he was on top of her. "Yep. And right now," he leaned down to drag his lips over her neck, "I think I wanna fuck you again."

She laughed and slapped him playfully before moaning, giving into the sensations he brought to her.

And, for the first time in years, she fell asleep without any thought of Baljeet.


	4. Part 4

**And with this chapter starts the real story. Things are going to get really intense from this point forward. I have about the next five to six chapters planned out. And I've decided to write a part of the story in Buford's POV. It'll be like an extra, since that's the part of the story that's gonna be really intense.**

**This chapter features an insignificant OC, since I didn't want to use anyone from the series. I hope you all hate him, because he's meant the be like the biggest jerk ever. He's only going to be in this chapter and the next, so you don't have to worry about him becoming a major part of the story.**

**Wanna Know What Love Is  
>By: Sally White<strong>

**Part 4**

It was odd to have to not make up excuses for being with him in her head now.

But Ginger recognized that it just wasn't necessary anymore.

Everyone seemed to know about her and Buford, and how they were sleeping together. She could tell that some of their friends did not approve, with the looks they gave her and the way some would avoid eye-contact whenever it came up in conversation. But most didn't really care and just accepted it. They all knew that there were no real feelings between her and the former bully. It was purely physical for them, and as long as they both consented no one would bother them about it.

The two of them were hanging out all the time now, after work and during the weekends when she didn't have work. They were always at each other's houses, going out to dinner together and such. They even went to a movie once, but after both decided that they weren't really movie people. Besides, it felt too much like a date and both had agreed that that was an awkward thought for them.

The more they hung out, the more Ginger found herself enjoying this new step in their relationship. It was comfortable enough that they could still sleep together without any ties, but not so awkward that they felt like it had to mean anything to justify it. It was actually really nice.

The more she thought about it, the more Ginger realized that Buford was probably her best friend, maybe the best friend she'd ever had. Sure, he was a little rough around the edges, but that just added to his charm, at least for her. He was brutally honest and that was what she needed sometimes. She had a bad habit of being over dramatic and he had become the one to help her calm down when she was being ridiculous. He knew what to say to get her to see that she had no reason to be worrying.

So when things started to get weird at work or with a friend, she slowly learned to not freak out over it as much as she used to.

Buford was also the only other one who understood just how much it was hurting her to be in Baljeet's wedding...

But most days they were together long enough so that neither of them had to think about it too much...

* * *

><p>It was a day like any other when the real weirdness began.<p>

Ginger walked down the hall of the hospital to give some papers to one of the doctors when another nurse stopped her. "Hey, Ginger, c'mere. I want you to meet someone." The male nurse, John, gestured to the other male beside him. "This is Mark. He's a med student and he's gonna be helping out around here."

The Japanese woman put on her most welcoming smile and reached out her hand to the younger male. "Hello, Mark. It's good to have you here with us."

The med student took her hand in both of his. "Did it hurt?"

She blinked. "What?"

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven? Because you must be an angel." The blonde man winked at her, white teeth flashing in a grin.

Ginger couldn't help the laugh that came from her. "Seriously? Wow. That was just bad."

"But it made you smile," he said, grinning at her.

She chuckled and nodded. "Yes, yes it did."

John just rolled his eyes. "C'mon, kiddo, you have work to do."

Mark waved as he walked away with John. "I'll see you later, cutie!"

She just rolled her eyes as he went, giggling softly to herself. What a dork.

* * *

><p>"Anything interesting happen at work today?" Buford asked her when he was at her house later. They were both getting their clothes back on after a, ah, session between them.<p>

"We got a new guy," Ginger told him, grabbing a brush and running it through her hair. After-sex hair did not work for her.

"Oh yeah? Anything interesting about him?"

"Sort of." She looked over her shoulder to see him looking at her curiously. "He hit on me pretty much the second he saw me."

The former bully snorted and rolled his eyes. "Nice. Probably a player."

"Probably," she agreed, going back to brushing her hair.

"'ere, lemme." He took the brush from her and sat behind her, gently running it through her hair.

She smiled and closed her eyes, relaxing underneath his ministrations. He had become pretty gentle with her, especially after they had sex. She really appreciated it, even if it was the only time he was particularly affectionate with her.

"Don't let him bother you too much," he muttered to her, putting the brush down at her side and putting his hands on her shoulders to rub the muscles there. "Players only ever want to get in your pants. You don't know where he's been."

Ginger turned around and his hands dropped from her shoulders. She raised and eyebrow at him, a smirk playing on the edge of her lips. "If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were jealous."

"Good thing you know me better," he scoffed, getting up and heading out of the bedroom.

She watched him go, her nose scrunching up and her lips pursed. If she didn't know any better, she'd say that she almost wanted him to be jealous...

...it was a good thing she knew better.

* * *

><p>The week went by less than eventful, and Ginger didn't see Mark again. She figured he was working in another part of the building.<p>

But that next Monday she saw him again.

"Hey!" He waved when he saw her, jogging over.

She gave him a polite smile when she saw him, not able to wave since she had a bunch of papers in her arms. "Hello again."

"Looks like I'll be working in this part of the hospital." He grinned at her, his brown eyes shining. "Here, let me." He took the papers from her. "Who are these going to?"

"Dr. Green," she told him, figuring it was okay since med students were supposed to be kept busy when they started at a hospital.

"I'll get these to him. By the way, are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see." He gave her a wink before starting down the hall.

"You're ridiculous!" she called after him, just shaking her head.

Really, what a dork.

Though...he had left before she had been able to protest the dumb pick up line...

She shrugged it off. She could let it go this one time.

* * *

><p>Except it wasn't just that one time. It kept happening.<p>

At first, she didn't really mind too much. They were mostly just silly, cheesy pick up lines, the ones that people told to make you roll your eyes and/or smile. Lines like " Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful." Or something like "If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer." They were dumb, but a little bit flattering.

But slowly, over time, the lines got bad, insulting even. She had never been one to let anyone make her feel uncomfortable, but the kid kept walking away before she could protest. He started using lines like "Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention," and "You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home." They were derogatory and distressing. She thought about reporting it to one of the higher ups, but they were only words. He hadn't tried to lay his hands on her, not yet.

But she knew that as soon as he tried, she would be done.

* * *

><p>About a month after Mark has started the pick up lines, Ginger was working in the office when she saw him again. He came up behind the desk, grinning at her. "Hey, cutie."<p>

"Hello, Mark," she greeted him in a monotone, filing away some papers.

"You feeling down? Because I can feel you up," he told her, and she felt him starting to lean towards her.

She turned around and stood up, her hands on her hips. "Alright, Mark, what's the deal. You've been sprouting these lines at me for a month now, and I'm getting real sick and tired of it."

He lifted his hands in front of himself, his grin never leaving his face. "Hey, pretty mama, I don't mean any harm."

"Then why did they turn so sexual?" she demanded, her harsh expression never changing.

"To get your attention," he told her, reaching out to touch her face. She quickly leaned back, not letting his hand get to her cheek. He didn't let that deter him, giving her a winning smile. "Look, let me take out. Dinner, drinks, maybe a movie. Let me show you that I'm more than just some guy with pick up lines."

A date...a real date. The first one that had been offered to her in a long time. He was obviously a player, but...what harm would it do, really? Maybe it would even get him off her back.

But...then she thought of Buford. How he had told her to not go for it, and how mad he would be at her for taking Mark up on his offer. Would it make him jealous? Would it hurt him? Why would it, they weren't in a relationship. They were just friends...who slept with each other. A lot.

She shook her head. "Sorry, but no."

"You say that now, but you'll change your mind." Mark leaned forward, cupping her chin in his finger. "I think you'll find that I can be pretty convincing."

She jerked her head away, glaring at him. "You touch me again and I'll report you to John."

"Just give me a chance," he asked her again, more demanding than anything.

"No." She turned and walked away, grabbing her coat. She decided to take an early lunch. She needed it.

"You'll change your mind," he called to her, his tone so sure of himself. "I'll convince you, you'll see!"

* * *

><p>"What's wrong?" Buford asked her as she stomped into his house. He took her coat as she slipped her shoes off, closing the door.<p>

Ginger didn't say anything, just turned around and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. She buried her face in his chest, trying to control the rage rising up inside of her. She was shaking, she was so mad.

The former bully wrapped his arms tight around her, rubbing her back gently. "Ginger? Just tell me what's wrong. Please."

"He..." She gulped, trying to get enough air into her lungs to talk. Her chest felt like it was closing in on itself from how mad she was. She tried again but had the same result.

Buford picked her up and carried her to the couch. He sat down and set her in his lap so that she was sitting sideways. "Now. Tell ol' Buford what happened."

She let a small smile grace her lips, cuddling into his chest. He always managed to make her feel so safe. "You remember that med student I told you about?"

"The player? What about him?"

"Well...he never stopped." She felt him tense up against her, but then he quickly relaxed and rubbed her back. "At first it was fine, just innocent flirting. I guess he had a crush on me, I don't know. But the lines got worse." She told him about the crude lines, blushing as she repeated some of them. She told him about today, about how the kid had gotten too close. "He said that he would make me change my mind," she told him, resting her head on his shoulder. "You should have heard him, Buford. It sounded more like a threat than playful banter."

By this point, the man's grip on her was so tight that she could barely wiggle. "What an ass...you deserve better than that." He leaned down to press a quick kiss to the top of her hair, making her turn bright pink. "You want me to rough him up for you?"

She giggled softly, feeling herself relax fully for the first time since he had pulled her into his lap. "Nah. He's not worth it." She looked up at him, her brown eyes warm. "Besides, I don't want him to be scared of me because I have a body guard."

He snorted and turned her around so that she sat facing him. "I ain't no one's body guard." He started to slide his hands up her shirt. "But you should probably tell someone about this."

"I will, when he tries to put his hands on me," she told him, running her hands over his broad shoulders. "When he does that, you'll be the first one to hear about it."

"Good," he grunted before surging forward to capture her lips in his.

He quickly rid her mind of any thoughts of Marks, or anything else for that matter.


	5. Part 5

**Wanna Know What Love Is, Part 5**

**TRIGGER WARNING! A LADY GETS SLAPPED IN THIS CHAPTER AND A DUDE GETS BEATEN UP. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**HOLY CHEESE, THIS CHAPTER FELT LIKE IT WOULD NEVER END. But, to be honest, I didn't really want it to. This might be my favorite chapter so far, even if it is pretty harsh. But it came to me so easily, unlike the last chapter. And I have at least the next three planned out in my head, so hopefully it won't take me too long to write them.**

**Anywho, enough chat, onto the chapter!**

**Wanna Know What Love Is  
>By: Sally White<strong>

**Part 5**

The next few weeks were nothing short of a nightmare for Ginger.

At least, at work.

Mark was merciless with his attempts at getting a date with her. The pick up lines got worse, and his attitude towards her became cocky and sexual. It was so annoying, and she felt like she was barely getting any work done because of it. She felt like she was just constantly looking over her shoulder, waiting for Mark to try to make a move so she could turn him down.

And she did. Over and over again, she turned the young man down. No, she didn't want to go out for a drink, no, she didn't want to grab a bite to eat, no, she didn't want to go see that new movie. Over and over, she told him no, no, NO. But he just couldn't take a hint, or an obvious shove away from her.

Metaphorically, of course. She hadn't laid a hand on him, and so far neither had he. At least, nothing that would warrant her going to someone about it. But she was waiting for it. She prayed for it, just so that she could finally do something about it for real.

Buford was a huge help to her nowadays. She was over at his apartment more than she was at her own, since work stressed her out so much that she didn't dare try to be alone. He would cook her dinner or order her favorites, pop in a movie and give her back rubs and massages. He kept asking her if she was sure that she didn't want him to go teach Mark a lesson, but she kept saying no. She didn't want Buford involved in this any more than he already was.

In between work shifts was wedding planning with Baljeet and Mishti, and both were worried about her. Even they noticed how stressed out she was and would try to ask her about it. But she never told them anything, always giving them vague answers and weak excuses. They never pressed her about it, though she could tell that they wanted to.

But, really, what could she do about it?

* * *

><p>Ginger sighed as she got ready for work, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She was standing in Buford's bathroom, having already brushed her teeth and showered. She didn't want to go to work today. Mark's advances had started getting even worse. Not only would he leer at her and say inappropriate things, but he would get too close to her and just...it made her so uncomfortable. She was going to report it to the higher ups as soon as he tried to lay a hand on her.<p>

She wanted to report it so badly, but the hospital had been so busy lately and they were already so short on staff. She didn't want them to feel inconvenienced by having to let Mark go. As annoying as he was to her, he was a hard worker. He never protested about anything he was told to do and he was always willing to help out. It honestly made her mad sometimes because he seemed like such a nice person, but he came on too strongly.

She heard someone open the door and saw Buford in the mirror. All it took was one look to tell her that he knew what she was thinking. He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes.

"Don't go," he said simply, and she knew that he meant it. "I'll skip too. We can just spend the day on the couch, take a breather."

"You know I can't do that," she murmured, breaking out of his grasp and leaving the bathroom.

"Why not?" he demanded, following her to the living room. "I know that you have plenty of vacation days saved up. They wouldn't be mad at you if you just took one day off, Ginge."

"I can't do that," she said firmly, grabbing her purse and putting it on her shoulder. "I need to go, Buford."

He grabbed her arm, turning her around so that she was forced to look at him. The look in his eyes nearly broke her heart. His blue orbs were soft, concerned...mixed with something else that she wasn't quite sure how to identify.

She wasn't sure she wanted to...

"This has gone on for too long," he told her, both of his hands on her shoulders now. "I can see how much it's been botherin' you, Ginge. This guy, this kid-just lemme come by the hospital, talk to him."

"I don't need your help, Buford," she snapped, jerking away from him. She instantly regretted it when she saw the hurt in his eyes. She sighed and raised a hand to touch his cheek. "Look, it's sweet of you to be concerned, but I got this."

"Then why are you so worried?" he challenged, his eyebrows raised.

She dropped her hand and went to the door. "I have to go. Don't wait up for me."

"Ginger-"

She was out the door before he could finish.

* * *

><p>Through-out the day, Ginger found herself wishing that she had taken Buford up on his offer. Mark was especially bad today, following her around like a lost little puppy, hitting on her constantly. She wanted him to back off, but he claimed it was for his studies. He wanted to see how a nurse worked day-to-day. It was a legit excuse and he was helping, but it wasn't worth it.<p>

It was definitely not worth it.

"C'mon, Ginger, just one date, that's all I'm asking for," Mark insisted, grinning at her from where he stood not too far behind her.

"I don't know how many more times I can say no before you get it," the Japanese woman said through gritted teeth. "Now can you please let me get some work done?"

"It's already done, I filled out the forms for you."

"You did what?!" She turned on him, her eyes flashing with anger. "Mark, you had no right! You don't know how to do it properly."

"Yes, I do! I've been watching you, I know how to do it. Plus John told me just last week." His grin was still on his face, starting to turn into a smirk. "Now you have less work to do. See how helpful I can be? Just imagine all of this determination in the bedroom." He winked at her.

That was it. She slammed her fist against the wall, her face nearly contorted with rage. "You have no right!" She shoved him away from her, her eyes flashing once more. "You have no right to be doing my work for me, and you have no right to be saying such things to me! I'm a grown woman, Mark, not some teen girl you can win over with your flashy grins and fucking cocky attitude!"

For the first time Mark's grin was gone, replaced with a look of shock. Then his face changed into an expression of anger. "Well you don't have to be such a bitch about it! I'm just trying to be nice."

"I don't want you to be nice, I want you to leave me alone!" she yelled at him.

By now they had attracted the attention of other nurses and a couple of doctors. She saw them staring and blushed, grabbing Mark and dragging him into an empty room. She closed the door and turned to him to yell at him more when she felt him pin her back against the wall. She opened her mouth to protest when his mouth covered hers. Her eyes went wide.

He was kissing her.

He was...kissing her?

He was kissing her!

She shoved him away, slapping him across the face. "What the hell?!"

He looked shocked once again, obviously not used to being rejected. Then his face contorted with rage.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion at that point. She saw his hand reel back and move towards her, but she felt frozen in place. The next thing she knew, her head as sharped turned to the side and her face hurt. She could only stand there in shock for a moment.

...he had hit her.

She slowly turned her head to stare at him, raising a hand to touch the cheek he had slapped. She blinked, and it all hit her at once. She wrenched the door open and ran down the hall. Tears ran down her face as she ran, but part of her felt triumphant.

Finally. A real reason to tell someone.

* * *

><p>It took the higher ups in the hospital all of ten minutes to kick Mark out, calling his college and medical school to inform them of what he had done. They gave Ginger the rest of the day off, along with the rest of the week. She knew that they just wanted to make amends, but there was nothing they could do that would make up for the stress she had been under for the last month.<p>

Her first instinct was to go back to Burford's apartment and wait for him to get back from the high school, but she dismissed that right away. It would only make him angry and she didn't want that. All she wanted right now was to forget about it for a few days. Plus, she knew that the former bully would go after Mark now, and there was nothing she could say that would stop him. If there was one thing Buford would never let anyone get away with, it was hitting a woman. Even in his bullying days, he had never hit a girl.

So she decided to go to her favorite bar and down a few drinks to try to forget about it. It was a little early to be getting drunk, but after the day she'd had surely no one could blame her.

She looked at herself in the compact mirror that she kept in her purse, grimacing. Her cheek was still red, starting to turn a light purple and swell. She groaned and put the mirror away, rubbing her face lightly with her face, making sure to avoid the red cheek. What was she going to do? How was she going to explain this Buford? There was no good excuse she could give to him to try to cover this up. He was going to lose it.

"Damn it..."

"...then I ask her for a date, and she flips shit on me! I even did her work so that she could get off sooner and she freaks on me!"

Ginger felt her heart drop to her feet, and her head turned sharply without her permission. No. It couldn't be.

But it was. Mark was sitting at the bar, about ten feet away, complaining to a group of people. She quickly looked away, hoping and praying that he wouldn't see her.

Of course. Of course this would happen to her, why wouldn't it? She cursed under her breath, fighting back tears of distress.

She heard her phone buzz and quickly picked it up. It was Buford calling. She answered. "Buford?"

_"Ginger, where the hell are you? John just called me and said you got off work early. He said something bad happened. Was it that kid?"_

"Where are you?" she asked, fiercely wiping away some tears with the heel of her hand.

_"I'm at the corner of North and Main. Where are you? ...are you crying?"_

"I'm at Pedro's. Buford, can you come get me, please?" She felt a tear escape and fall down her bruised cheek.

_"I'll be there soon. Don't go anywhere."_

She hung up and buried her face in her hands, feeling dread wash up on her. How could this happen to her? She hadn't asked for this.

She had no idea what was going to happen. This was probably the worst thing that could have happened to her. Buford was going to flip shit when he got there, and her attacker was also at the bar. There was going to be some huge confrontation, possibly even a fight, and that was the last thing she wanted to happen. Other women would have found this kind of situation flattering, having two men fight over them. But not her. Not right now, and not these two. Mark meant nothing to her, but Buford...

Oh Buford...

The former bully was her best friend. He was the only person she felt like she could go to about anything now, the only person who was able to make her feel safe. He was the only other man besides Baljeet that she had taken to bed, and he had been her steady sexual partner for over two months now. He had proved over and over again that he was worthy of her trust and admiration. He was a much better person than she had ever imagined he would be...

And he deserved more than to be dragged into a stupid fight between coworkers.

"Ginge?"

She slowly looked up to see the former bully standing there, right in front of her. She felt her eyes tear up when she saw the devastated look on his face. He sat down on the bar stool next to her, reaching up to cup her face in his hands. "Ginge...did he do this to you?"

She nodded, unable to stop the tears this time. They fell down her face, freely, and she didn't even bother to try to wipe or blink them away. "Yes...he hit me."

His eyes darkened and his hands dropped from her face. He stood up and reached out to her, helping her to her feet before wrapping and arm around her shoulders. "Come on. Let's get you home."

"And there's the lady of the house, ladies and gents!"

Ginger flinched back when she heard the voice, trying to bury herself in Buford's side. No, not now. She was almost free...

Mark strode over to them, ignoring Buford completely. "The lady who got me fired. I bet you're reeeeeeeaaaaaaal proud of yourself, huh, Nurse Hirano?"

"Who the fuck're you?" Buford demanded, his arm sliding off of her as he glared at the shorter man.

"The name's Mark." The blonde narrowed his eyes at the taller, broader man, his head tilted back so he could look in him in the eye. "Who are you?"

"Doesn't matter." He turned the Japanese woman, his eyes full of displeasure. He knew who this jerk was. "Let's go, Ginge."

"Ginge?" Mark let out a bitter laugh, his breath stinking of whiskey. "I get it now! Holy shit, I get it." He turned to her, his eyes narrowed. "You could have just said that you had a boyfriend, Christ."

"He's not my boyfriend," she murmured, refusing to look him in the eye. She just wanted to get out of here.

She felt his hand grip her chin and her head was yanked up so she was forced to look at him. She winced.

"So what? You're just gonna put out for him?" he demanded, his voice a low growl.

Buford grabbed Mark's arm and yanked him away from Ginger, his eyes narrowed dangerously. He grabbed the shorter man by the lapels and yanked him so that there were nose to nose. "If you ever touch her again, you'll have bigger problems than you wanna deal with."

"Look, man, I get it." Mark held up his hands, obviously in no mood to actually try to fight the bigger man. "No messing with your bitch."

Ginger gasped when Buford's fist reeled back and hit Mark square in the nose in what seemed like a split second. The younger man cried out and would have gone down if the former bully's other hand wasn't still holding him up. Buford pulled his fist back to hit the other man again, but Ginger grabbed his arm. "Buford, don't! Please!" Her eyes were huge and begging. "He's not worth it..."

She saw the torn look in his eyes, the blue orbs darting from her to Mark to back to her. He wanted to hit the man again, that much was obvious...but he also didn't want to disappoint her. He could see the tears in her eyes, the fear and desperation. He knew that she just wanted to go, that she didn't want a fight.

So he did the right thing.

He slowly lowered his fist, his other hand letting go of the man. The blonde fell back against the wall, holding his broken and bleeding nose in his hand, crying. Buford looked at Ginger and gave her a nod before getting all up in Mark's face to growl a warning to him.

"I ain't her boyfriend, asswipe. I'm even more dangerous. I'm the guy she's sleeping with. And if you ever touch her again, I'll make you wish you were never born. Capiche?"

Mark nodded, whimpering.

"Good." Buford went over to Ginger and wrapped his arm around her once more. "C'mon. Let's get out of here." Then he calmly led her outside.

Ginger was stunned. She didn't think she had ever seen Buford so mad before, or so protective. It was...kind of hot. She felt ashamed of herself for being turned on by such a violent act, but...well...the energy that had radiated off of him during that time...

He led her outside to his truck, stopping when she leaned against it. "Here, let me see." He cupped her non-bruised cheek in his hand to get a good look at her bruise. "Fuckin' bastard...wish I'da knocked his teeth out."

"He's not worth getting arrested for," she murmured, her eyes just looking at him with wonder. "Buford, what you did-"

"I know, I know, it was unnecessary," he grumbled, obviously expecting a lecture from her.

She grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her face, holding it in her own. "No. I'm actually really flattered. I can't believe you would go so far for me."

The former bully shrugged, his face turning pink. But there was the cutest little grin on his face, and he looked so proud of himself. "I couldn't let him get away with hurting my girl."

"Your girl?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

He nodded, stepping closer to her so that she was forced to tilt her head up more to look at him. "Yeah. I'm sleepin' with ya, ain't I? So that makes you my girl."

"I think I can accept that," she murmured, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. "Just for tonight." Then she pulled him down to capture his lips with hers.

They didn't even make it home. He took her in the backseat of his truck, growling "Mine!" into her ear until she came hard around him. Then they drove back to his house and did it twice more before falling to sleep on the couch.

The last thing she thought before she fell asleep was how much she liked being called his girl. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad title to have...

Even if she was still in love with Baljeet.


	6. Part 6

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand with this chapter comes the part of my story that is going to break my heart. In fact, this chapter has effectively killed my feels. If you'll excuse me, I require YouTube times of music and feel good things. *dies***

**While reading this chapter, I suggest listening to Panic! At The Disco's "Just One Yesterday" or Emmelie de Forest's "Only Teardrops." It will break your heart, but it fits this chapter so well.**

**Wanna Know What Love Is**

**By: Sally White**

**Part 6**

Ginger and Buford's relationship really only continued to progress after that fateful day. She had the rest of the week off from work, since the hospital didn't want her to work while under duress-go figure-so she spent the rest of the week at his house. She would be there when he got home from working at the high school and they would eat together, watch some TV, end up having sex then go to sleep. This was how her day went for the next week, and it wasn't a bad way to spend life, if she said so herself.

She was starting to realize just how comfortable she was with Buford, and how easy their relationship was becoming. And she found that she wanted it to stay that way...

He had started to refer to her as his girl more and more often, and more often than not she didn't even bother to try to protest to it. If anything, it just turned her on more, since he tended to say it when they would start to get intimate. She knew that it was wrong of her to think like that, since they were only friends with benefits, not actually together...but surely it wasn't so wrong? After all, he didn't treat her any differently outside of the bedroom.

Except that he had started to.

When they went out, he started opening doors for her, and pulling out her chair before she sat down. He was picking up the tabs more and more, and he had even started taking her hand more. It worried her, but she felt too selfish to make him stop. It was nice to have...well...

To have a boyfriend, or someone who acted like one to her.

Even if they weren't really together, and they couldn't be, because they were both still too deeply in love with Baljeet still.

...right?

* * *

><p>Ginger sighed as she listened to Baljeet talk to the caterer. This was the part of the whole wedding process that she hated the most, having to go around with Baljeet and Mishti as they tried to figure out all of the little details. They still had about six months to plan the thing, but they were both very efficient people and liked to get planning done early. She supposed she couldn't blame them too much, since a lot went into planning a wedding. She remembered how crazy Stacy was when she was planning her wedding with Coltrane. The thought sent a shiver down her spine.<p>

She glanced over at Buford, who was standing beside her with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes narrowed with boredom. But his blue orbs stayed fixated on Baljeet, and she couldn't help the jealousy that rose up in her. But whether it was directed at him or Baljeet, she wasn't sure...

Mishti stood not too far from Baljeet, watching her fiancee with adoration. Ginger had found that she no longer hated the Indian woman, and they had actually had some rather pleasant conversations. The Japanese woman figured she owed the other woman one for not revealing her secret to the Indian man. Mishti was genuinely nice, she was coming to accept, and she held no ill will towards her despite how deeply in love Ginger still was with Baljeet. It seemed almost impossible for anyone to be so nice to someone who loved your man...but Mishti proved that it was possible.

Baljeet finished talking to the caterer and Mishti took his arm before the two of them walked back over to their maid of honor and best man. "I think that is taken care of for now." He looked over at his fiancee with a warm smile. "Remind me to call him again in a week, just in case."

"Will do," Mishti told him, giving his arm a squeeze.

Ginger heard Buford scoff and mutter "Gag me," and she elbowed him in the side. He nudged her back, hitting a ticklish spot. She giggled and shoved him playfully, a warning look in her eyes. He just smirked and winked at her before offering her his arm. She took it with a grin and looked at the other two.

"So, where to now?"

"Well, it is almost 6," Baljeet stated, looking at his watch. "I think it is a good time to grab some dinner."

"We could go to that new bistro that just opened up," Mishti suggested, her eyes lighting up when her fiancee mentioned dinner. "I have heard only good things about it."

The Indian man looked at the two in front of him. "What do you two think? You would not mind that?"

"Not at all," Ginger said cheerfully.

"Sounds good to me," Buford said with a shrug.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Mishti dragged Baljeet outside, the two laughing.

"Disgusting," Buford scoffed, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. He looked down at the woman on his arm. "Who flirts like that in public?"

"Not you," she shot back teasingly, nudging him again. It was a lie, he flirted wither her all the time in public now.

"You know it, babe," he grinned, and they hurried off after the other two.

They all made their way to the bistro and were seated rather quickly, since it was a weekday. Mishti and Baljeet continued to chatter on about wedding plans and what they needed to take care of next. Ginger and Buford mostly just exchanged glanced and secret smiles, poking at each other and running hands over places that couldn't be seen. She enjoyed watching him twitch as her hand rested near his crotch, and she breathed in sharply when one of his hands ran up her side close to her bra.

"What do you think, Ginger?"

The Japanese woman quickly snapped her attention back to the other couple, sitting up straight as she fought the rising blush on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Mishti giggled softly as Baljeet narrowed his eyes at them. "I asked what you thought of your bridesmaid dress."

The two Indians had decided that their wedding ceremony would be a mix of both traditional Indian customs and Western traditions. The girls would be wearing exquisite Indian dresses and the men would be wearing tuxes, and the ceremony and reception would be a mixture of both cultures. It was all rather cute, or at least Ginger thought so.

"It's lovely, Mishti," Ginger assured the other woman with a smile, ignoring Buford's hand that was on her back under her shirt. "And I know that the other girls will love their dresses, too."

"Buford, could you kindly stop feeling her up in public?" Baljeet asked quietly, glaring at the former bully.

Buford glared at the other man, his hand going still on her waist. "I'll do whatever I want, nerd. You ain't the boss of me."

"That is not even a real word!" the Indian man protested, slamming his hands down on the table. Then he looked around nervously to make sure they weren't being stared at. Once his fears were calmed, his harsh gaze went back to the two in front of him. "Please, just stop. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Well, doesn't that just make you a fuckin' hypocrite!" the former bully snapped, then his eyes went wide and his jaw snapped shut. His eyes darted away, but Ginger could see that he knew he'd made a mistake.

"And just what does that mean?" Baljeet demanded, glaring at Buford.

But the bigger man didn't answer, just crossing his arms over his chest and looking away.

"Well?" Baljeet demanded, his arms crossed over his chest as well.

Ginger had had enough. She glared at the Indian man, slamming her hand down on the table. "What he means is that you openly flirt with Mishti all the time, so you have no reason to be telling him off!"

"Guys, please...not here," Mishti begged, sinking down in her seat a little as everyone in the restaurant turned to look at them.

"And why should I not? She is my fiancee," Baljeet retorted, starting to stand up.

Ginger stood up too, her hands on her hips as she set an indignant look on her face. "Because you're hurting us."

"Ginger!" Buford said sharply, but she ignored him. She felt all the rage from the past few months rising up inside of her, and nothing was going to stop her.

Nothing.

"How am I hurting you?" Baljeet questioned, throwing his hands into the air. "All I am doing is planning my wedding with my fiancee! You two agreed to be in it, you knew you would have to be around this!"

"That doesn't mean we wanted to!" she snapped, her hands in fists at her sides now. "All we've ever done for you, is try to make you happy. Ever since we were kids, both of us sacrificed again and again because we wanted you to be happy. I gave you everything, and you just threw it away!"

"That was years ago, Ginger! Years! You cannot tell me you still hold a grudge about it?"

"It's not a grudge!" she exclaimed, raising her hands to shake her fists at him. "My god, how can you be so stupid? How can you not see!"

"See what?!"

"How much you're hurting us!"

"How am I hurting you!"

"By marrying her!" She pointed at Mishti, her whole frame shaking now. The restaurant was silent except for her and Baljeet's fighting, but she wasn't done. Not yet. "You're hurting both me and Buford by marrying her! God, you're so smart but so fucking stupid!"

"I don't understand!" the Indian man protested, looking ready to tear his own hair out. "How is my getting married hurting you both?"

"Because we're both in love with you, stupid!"

Her chest was heaving and her whole body quaked. She had said it. She had finally said it.

Then it hit her.

Baljeet's eyes were wide as he slowly looked from her to Burford, back to her, then back to the former bully. "I...what...?"

Ginger's eyes went wide. _Oh no_. She looked over at Buford, who's face had lost all color. He was staring at her, his own blue orbs wide with hurt and betrayal. She reached out a shaking hand to him. "Buford..."

He didn't even let her finish. He got up and almost ran out of the restaurant. Baljeet could only stare as the former bully went, and Mishti looked like she wanted to disappear. Ginger felt her heart sinking to her feet.

What had she just done?

"Buford!"

She ran after him, out of the restaurant and down the street. She grabbed his wrist before he could go any further. "Buford-"

"Don't!" He wrenched his arm out of her grip, whirling around to look at her. Her heart broke at the sight of his red-rimmed eyes, looking like he was about to cry. "Just don't." He breathed heavy, his eyes staying fixed on her own sorry brown orbs.

She had fucked up. She could see it in his eyes, how devastated and furious he was...and she could see the betrayal in his eyes, like someone had just stabbed him in the back. And she had, pretty much.

She reached up a trembling hand to his face, but quickly pulled it back when he gave her a warning look. She had no idea what to say, what to do to make this right.

She had really fucked up.

"That first night..." She was brought back to the current situation when he spoke and she quickly turned her attention back to him. He had looked away from her, his bangs covering his eyes. "That first night...you promised. You promised that he wouldn't find out." He looked back her, tears of hurt pooling in his blue eyes. It broke her heart, and she felt her own eyes starting to tear up. "You promised, Ginger. How could you."

"Buford...I'm so sorry," she whispered, everything in her crying out to hold him, kiss him, make this right. But she couldn't...

"Sorry isn't gonna cut it," he said sharply and turned around, walking away from her. He kept going, and going, never looking back...

"Buford..."

She felt her heart break in two, and she erupted in uncontrollable sobs.

"Buford, I'm sorry...I'm sorry, Buford. Buford! BUFORD!"


	7. Part 7

**Oh my god, this chapter took way too long to write. I just couldn't get all the words in my head, and by the time I did I was way too tired to write it all down. I started writing it last night but I wasn't able to finish writing it until this morning. I'm actually really happy with how this turned out, despite the parts that feel rushed. But every part of this chapter is significant, trust me.**

**I should warn you to not expect any more updates from me until Sunday, since I work this weekend and I don't get off until really late. But while I'm at work I almost always have a lot of time to think, so I'll be thinking of how to continue the story. I'm not going to give up on this one until it's done. I love this ship and I refuse to give up on it.**

**Wanna Know What Love Is  
>By: Sally White<strong>

**Part 7**

The first few nights passed with absolutely no word from him whatsoever. Ginger tried texting him, calling and leaving multiple messages begging Buford for forgiveness, but he never replied. There was no word from him, not even an emoji. He wasn't on Facebook either, which she knew because she checked frequently. She knew that her actions were ridiculous, but...well...

She was desperate.

He was her best friend, and she had never meant to hurt him. She was beating herself up internally over and over again for not just keeping her mouth shut. Why did she have to say anything? She knew that, when she was mad, nothing stopped her from saying what was on her mind. And all she had been thinking about was how much the whole situation was bullshit and how she and Buford didn't deserve to be put through this kind of heartbreak.

She had only been trying to stand up for him...but she should have known better. He never needed anyone to stand up for him. He was strong all on his own.

Much stronger than her...

Days turned into a week, what felt like the longest week of her life. She tried calling their other friends to see if any of them had heard from him, but no one had. She kept trying to get a hold of him the next week, calling the school to see if he was still showing up. The secretary told her that he had taken some personal days off, and that he wouldn't be back until the week after.

That was when she had really started to worry.

She had driven over to his apartment, since she had a key, and it looked unlived in. There was no sign that he had been there at all during the past two weeks. There was trash, no plates in the sink, nothing taken out of the refrigerator, nothing. There weren't even any dirty clothes laying out on the floor in his bedroom, where she knew they would be because he hated doing laundry.

There was absolutely nothing. She had to accept the idea that she had no idea where he was, and that he wasn't about to inform her any time soon.

She broke.

She had gone back to her apartment building, sobbing in the car. When she got up to her apartment, she screamed and threw a fit, much like the ones she had used to throw as a child. She had picked up things and threw them, not caring about what she was throwing. She was distressed, distraught, and displeased with the whole situation. Why did he have to be such a big brute, a tyrant-

A bully.

Except he wasn't. Not anymore.

He was sweet, and sincere, and he cared about her. He had proved it over and over again, always letting her into his home and helping to de-stress her after long days of work. He had beat up Mark for her after the med student had hit her, he was always there when she needed to cry about Baljeet...and he had let her use him for sex with no protest.

He was the best friend she had ever had, and she had let him down.

She had gotten control of herself again and cleaned up what she had thrown. She had broken a lamp and quickly cleaned up the glass, and put the couch pillows back on the couch. She had also thrown a picture frame of her and Baljeet from when they had been dating their senior year of high school. She had sniffed and put it away, not feeling like looking at it right now.

She had picked up another picture frame and broke down sobbing again. It was of her and Buford, taken a few weeks ago when they had gone out to the bar. In the picture, they were both holding up drinks with big goofy grins on their faces, and he had his arm around her. They looked so happy in the picture.

She had taken the picture out of the broken frame and clutched it to her chest, sobbing quietly over it. Then she had lain down on her couch and fallen asleep crying...

* * *

><p>Ginger sighed as she left the hospital, checking her phone for any messages. Of course there was none, but it was force of habit by now. she got into her car and just sat there for a bit, staring out the windshield.<p>

It had been nearly three weeks now since she had last seen Buford. There had been no word from him, and no one else had heard from him either. She had thought about calling the school again, since he should have been back to work by now, but she knew that she had no real reason too. This was obviously a very conscious thought he had made, to not contact her, and she should respect it.

Except that she couldn't.

She was out of her mind with worry, and her heart felt broken beyond compare. She had lost the dearest person to her and it felt like there was nothing she could do about it. She had left him so many voicemails apologizing for what had happened, begging him to talk to her, to say anything. She was so, so lonely, and not having him with her was like having a physical hole in her chest that refused to be filled by anything other than his presence. He had become such a huge part of her life and now that that was gone...she didn't know what to do with herself.

She rubbed her hand over her face and buckled her seatbelt, putting her key into the ignition and turning the car on. She put her hands on the steering wheel, getting ready to turn out of the parking lot and on the way home. But a thought came to her head.

Why go home? All it would do was remind her of how much she missed Buford and how alone she really was without him around. Why not go out? She had barely been out since their fight, and she hadn't gotten drunk since before that.

With her mind made up, she turned out of the parking lot and headed for her favorite bar. Pedros.

* * *

><p>Ginger was already so far gone by the time he found her, sitting on a stool at the bar at Pedros. She was surprised, since he hadn't contacted her either in the last few weeks since she had spilled the beans. She had no idea how he had found out where she was, or why he was here.<p>

But she couldn't say she wasn't glad to see him.

Baljeet sat down beside her, linking his fingers on the bar. "So this is where you go to wind down. It is not my kind of thing, but you have always been different.

"How did you find me?" she muttered into her cocktail, refusing to look at him. She took another sip of the drink, not really tasting it. She hadn't been able to taste any of her drinks for the past hour, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to stop drinking. Not yet.

"A little bird told me," he joked, finally looking up at her with humor in his eyes. She glanced over at him, obviously no amused. He sighed and ran a hand through his curly hair, looking away once more. "I came to check up on you. We have not heard from you in quite some time."

"Can you blame me?" she asked him, turning towards him, her drink forgotten. Her eyes teared up, since she was so emotional when she was drunk. She had always hated that about herself. "I fucked up, Baljeet. I made my best friend hate me, and now I just want to die!"

"Do not be dramatic," the Indian man sighed, rolling his eyes and turning back to the bar.

"I'm serious!" she protested, though she knew that she wasn't actually, not really. "Buford hates me now, Baljeet!"

"You know do not know that."

"Then why hasn't he contacted me in the last three weeks?"

"Maybe he just needed some time to cool down. Goodness knows the rest of us needed it." He glanced over at her, his expression grim. "You did drop quite a bomb on us."

She turned away from him, taking another sip from her cocktail. "I was just being honest. This whole wedding thing has been nothing but hell for me and Buford. It was the whole reason we started hanging out, because we knew that we were the only ones who would be able to understand each other's pain."

"When did all of this start?" he asked her, reaching out to place a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I have been wondering for quite some time how you and he started...all of this."

"You mean how we started having sex?" She turned her head to look at him, her eyes despondent. "It was at your engagement party."

"You had sex at the party?" His eyes went wide, his hand dropping from her shoulder.

"No!" She glared at him, her mouth in a deep frown. "What kind of lady do you take me for?"

"As I recall, you like the idea of being caught having sex," he said bluntly.

"That's not the point right now!" she snapped, though her cheeks were a light pink. "No, we didn't have sex at the party. There was no where to do that, anyways. It had a one-person bathroom, way too small."

"With no chance of getting caught."

"Can you let that go already?" She smacked his shoulder, though in her drunken state it didn't do much damage. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Sorry, sorry." He gestured for her to continue her story.

She sighed and turned around so that she was leaning back against the bar. She closed her eyes as her mind went back to that first night between her and Buford, back to the best sex of her life and the beginning of a wonderful friendship...that was now ruined. She told her story, nearly breaking down into tears many times. She told Baljeet how she and the former bully had become so close, sparing none of the details in her inebriated state. She had no qualms, and she was relieved to finally get to talk about it.

The Indian man, however, did have many qualms and had to ask her several times to stop with the details. His face was bright red and she could tell that he was getting uncomfortable. She told him how she and Buford had agreed to become friends with benefits, how he was always so sweet to her, and even how the former bully had ended up beating up Mark for her. She was so emotional by the end of the story that she was nearly sobbing.

"And we went out with you and Mishti for dinner and...well, you know what happened then." She reached up to try to wipe some of her tears away, her hand shaking. "I fucked up, Baljeet. I lost the only person who ever really cared about me."

"That is a harsh thing to say," Baljeet said quietly, looking away from her. "There are other people who care about you...I care about you."

"Bullshit," she said loudly, looking over at him with fire in her eyes. "If you cared about me, you wouldn't have broken up with me!"

"That was years ago!"

"I loved you!" she shouted, her tears falling freely now. "You were my life, Baljeet! My everything! And then you just left me high and dry, and I just-!" She covered her mouth with her hand to try to keep in a sob. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

Baljeet gently gripped her wrists in his hands, pulling her hands away from her face. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he said gently, and she could tell that he meant it. "But it was the best thing I could have done for you. I was not feeling the relationship and I had not been for months. It would not have been fair to you to let it go on any further. We fought all the time and I felt like I had hurt you enough."

She stared at him, searching his eyes for truth in what he was saying. And there it was, honesty shining brightly in his brown eyes. She sniffed and nodded, pulling her hands away from him to wipe her eyes. "You're right. I've known it for years, I just never wanted to accept it."

"I know," he told her gently, patting her on the back. "You felt very strongly for me and I always appreciated your love. But we were not meant to be."

She nodded and turned away, finishing her drink and pushing the empty glass way from herself. "But none of this changes the fact that Buford hates me now."

"He does not hate you, Ginger. In fact..." The Indian man sighed and put his hands on the bar. "In fact, he is the one who told me where you would be."

Her head turned sharply to stare at her friend, her brown eyes wide. "He talked to you?"

"Yes. He told me that you would probably be here, since it is your favorite bar. He asked me to come and keep an eye on you."

"Why would he do that?" she growled, her hands turning into fists on the bar. "He hasn't talked to me at all in the past three weeks. Why didn't he just come find me himself?"

"He is still angry, but he has not stopped caring about you." Baljeet seemed to be getting annoyed by her now.

"Fuck off, Baljeet!" the Japanese woman snapped, getting up. She slapped some money on the counter and got up, wobbling on her feet. "I'm going home!"

"Not like that, you are not." He got up and gripped her arm, trying to keep her steady. "I cannot in good conscious let you drive home in your condition. I will drive you."

"You sure you can stand me for that long?" she sneered at him.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, leading her outside. "Come on." He was parked right outside the place, and he got her into the passenger's seat of his car before getting into the driver's seat. He had to buckle her in himself since she was refusing to move, and he put the car in drive and started off down the street. "Where do you live?"

"Why do you want to know? It's not like you can join me in bed." She crossed her arms over her chest, still refusing to look at him.

"I just want to get you home," Baljeet said through gritted teeth.

"Take me to Buford," she demanded, glaring out the window.

"I cannot do that, he would be angry."

"And I'm not?!" Ginger turned on him, her eyes flashing. "I just want to see him, Baljeet! I want him to fucking explain why he hasn't talked to me at all in the past three weeks! I want him to tell me what I can do to make for this so that he'll finally stop ignoring me!" She started to cry again, but she didn't do anything to try to stop it. She was already too far gone by now.

She turned away from the Indian man and curled up against the door, sobbing softly. "I want him to tell me that everything will be okay, to tell me to stop crying. I want him to smile at me, to tease me for being such a bad drunk. I...I want him to h-hold me and tell me that he's still my friend...I want him to make love to me again, so I can feel him..." She pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to choke down her sobs.

"I miss him, Baljeet...I miss him so much." She looked over at the Indian man, her eyes full of tears. "I just want him back. I want my best friend back." She rested her forehead against her knees. "I fucked up...I fucked up so badly..."

"Then tell him that," Baljeet said gently, glancing over at her for just a moment. "Tell him how sorry you are, Ginger."

"I have! Do you think I would be saying all of this if I hadn't?"

"You have been known to say a lot of things when you have done nothing about it..."

"Stuff it, Tjinder!" she snapped, throwing her legs back down to the floorboard. "I begged you to talk to me for a year-!"

"After you accused me of cheating on you with Mishti, which I did not!"

"You showed up to my graduation with her!"

"Because I thought you would appreciate the support!" He was shouting back at her now, tired of her always getting onto him.

"You knew how much I hated her!" She was leaning close to him now as she shouted, intent on continuing this fight. She was drunk and she was pissed, and nothing was going to shut her up now.

"It was a childhood grudge! I had hoped that you would be enough of an adult to let it go!"

"You're calling me a child now?!"

"Do you hear how you are acting?!"

"You-! Baljeet look out!"

"Wha-?" He looked out the windshield and gasped and jerked the wheel sharply to the right.

The last thing Ginger remembered before she blacked out was the car hitting them and glass flying everywhere.

* * *

><p>"...miss? Miss, can you hear me?"<p>

Ginger opened her eyes groggily, barely able to feel anything. "Wha...?"

A paramedic was kneeling over her, his gloved hand on her head. "Boy's, she's awake! I need a gernie over here!" Some other paramedics ran over to help get her onto the gernie. The first paramedic turned back to her. "Miss, everything's going to be okay. We're gonna get you to the hospital."

"I-I work at the hospital," she groaned weakly, trying to sit up.

The paramedic blinked at her. "Ginger?"

She blinked at him. "John?"

"Oh my god, guys hurry up!" John gripped her hand, his thumb running over her knuckles. "It's okay, Ginge, we're gonna get you to the hospital. Everything is gonna be okay!"

"Ginger!" Baljeet came running over to a cut on his head but otherwise uninjured. There were tears in his fear-filled eyes. "I am so sorry, Ginger! I did not mean for this to happen!"

"Sir, I need to ask you to back off now," John asked the Indian man kindly as the other paramedics came over to get her on the gernie. She stared to panic, trying to fend them off as they strapped her down.

"No, this is a mistake, I'm a nurse!" she yelled, her own eyes going wide with fear. "I-I can take care of myself!"

"Ginger, you have glass shards in your side," John told her, never letting go of her hand. "We don't know how deep they are. You need to go to the hospital."

"Ginger, I am so sorry!" Baljeet continued to yell as he was held back by some police. "Please, take care of her!"

They got her into the ambulance and John sat by her as they started to drive off. "Is there anyone I can call for you, Ginge?"

She nodded as tears started to fall down her face again. "Buford...please, call Buford." She gripped John's arm in her hand, her eyes wide as she pleaded with him. "Call him, John, please!"

"Okay, Ginge, I will," the paramedic assured her softly, his hand going over hers to give a reassuring squeeze.

She started to sob again a she clung to her friend. "Tell him I'm sorry...tell him I'm so sorry." She continued to sob as John murmured to her, trying to get her to calm down. "Tell Buford I'm sorry..."


End file.
